that . was . that was something . keep most of rambles to access list currently , as not yet finish and did not want to make public judgments too early . but no longer is this shackle !

some of faerie topics which handle , actually think alright . bogge , suriel , and attor do not represent particular faeries of old lore , but feel like fit in decently . faerie music is written as suitably magical , able to make feyre feel wonderful , free , and ready to dance . faerie food ruin feyre's sense of taste for human food . even final quarter's trials , tasks , and riddles kind of impress .

unfortunately , some of these really nice moments come at cost of feyre's character image - this woman is meant to be capable hunter who feed whole family and know dangers of faerie menace , yet blatantly rush into dangerous faerie-based situations far more than actually listen to warnings . 

some parts amuse for entirely wrong reasons - that is to say , laugh at plenty of bad character choices , ridiculous interactions , and contradictions to faerie sensibilities . other parts annoy , because feel like author poorly set up - particularly in ways that take away agency and capability from feyre - or just get horny at worst moments like grief and moral quandary . pick literally any other time to get horny , pretty please ?

very glad that borrow this from library , rather than purchase . manage to satiate curiosity for this series , and safe to say will not continue . 

or as people might more likely say , second screen - to keep media on in background , while pay attention to phone or otherwise . but would say also go for crafters to some extent , like crocheters and knitters .

on one hand , definitely understand need for something to fill background , especially if live with other people who make noises and distractions . on other hand , sometimes fail to see why music is not enough for that . do not think music should always be in background either , but at least serve role of filter out in interesting way , without take too much attention to tune back in and enjoy as is .

maybe just have wonky perspective because HOH - even when medium is audio only like podcast , will follow transcript , or if there is none , then will make sure to avoid all other distractions so as to hone in on comprehension . this is not to say that never play other things in background , but honestly ? this is almost always something that already know well enough to not lose track if tune out .

again , there is sort of ... on one hand , to use videos like this can give clear markers of how much time pass . just get through two 20 minute videos while crochet , so know 40 minutes , which means just about time to make lunch . on other hand ... surely all these music platforms can estimate playlist length and let user choose , right ...? but maybe give some of these platforms too much credit >.>

if really interest in something , then would like to watch that thing as is . even if that means , say for example , defunctland's latest nearly 4.5 hour video - which still only halfway finish , watch in bits over this past week . not because of video's failure to keep interest , but need breaks to do other things , to recuperate from listening fatigue , and sometimes to watch shorter things in between . 

just feel that beyond personal accessibility needs for captions and transcripts , people use visual mediums when visual components important - otherwise would be audio podcasts , books , or whatever else . therefore , feel like make sense to give best attention possible .

there is another thing that frustrate about regression / kid-front spaces , and that is just , so much dependency on caregivers - ask for caregiver to help with this craft , let caregiver handle hot stove and sharp knives , just sit back worry-free . and of course can not fault anyone for find comfort in that , as often tie to frustration of guardians who neglect and refuse care . but other end of spectrum happen too - kids whose guardians overly shelter and refuse any independence , especially if disabled , such that never get to learn life skills until late in life , so important part of regression is to build independence . feel there is no real recognition of this among these spaces .

in addition , as other collectives will say - someone might have feelings and internal age that line up with childhood , but have 5 ,10 , 20+ years of experience within collective - everyday tasks of adulthood not necessarily problem in that case . tend to feel similarly here , because fae ages can be just as funky ... this is why split into 3 categories when relevant - chronological existence , external appearance , and internal feelings . that chronological existence can give wisdom , perspective , and life experiences that might not align with expectations of both external and internal ages . 

so all in all , sprouts here actually prefer as much independence as possible . want to be able to ask for help without shame if help become necessary , but do not want to have watch over shoulder and supervise , nor fully take over experience . understand that is comfortable for others , but frustrate that this is so commonly accept as only way to be .  

sometimes find that when wake up , will have some song play in head as hypnopompic hallucination . sometimes this is song that recently learn and enjoy , other times dig up from depths of memory . sometimes can be very , very loud !

anyway , somehow never have good way to refer to this - not really stuck in head , just sort of appear ... and sort of dislike to brush over hallucinatory aspect . take great pride in these hallucinations , actually ! brain absolutely fascinate , and think important to be able to discuss hallucinations without judgment or fear of stigma - anyone can experience hypnagogic and hypnopompic hallucinations in particular . so , finally put something to words that quite like !

morning radio : hypnopompic hallucinations that take form of musical pieces . of course , will use this in dream journal , where know very clearly refer to hypnopompia and not actual morning radio program . in cases where not so clear , would probably just tack mental on front too . :P

really love journal games . really love tending in particular . also really like to slow stitch , and would love to do more often . hmm . keepsake game all about slow stitch could be really , really beautiful ...